Gioza

I live in a time warp where nothing makes sense and all your energy goes into surviving. Nothing to spare for finding a way out…for now. So I wait and wonder what happened to us, to the boy who said who will ever look after me? in the voice of an eight-year-old boy who never had a birthday worth remembering. You never knew it but as I held you, I vowed that I would. Maybe I’ll never find out why you’re afraid of large flowers and dogs and loving someone enough to let them in. So busy painting a glossy veneer over the sordid past and tarnished present, he forgets how beautiful he is when he lets his guard down. Beautiful and b

Disposable friend The right fit at the wrong time Flying out of orbit, we were bound to collide But how could we have known That only chaos awaits A year of sunshine and laughter But the day needs a night and summer, a winter A year of raw nerves and awkward caresses But it wasn’t all bad… Hearts full to the brim Yearning for something more   We gambled our friendship for a chance at ever after Now that it’s all over I miss you…my friend

I walked into your empty arms Thinking they were waiting for me to fill them Now when I am not in them I wonder who is I asked you if it was OK for me to need you You said “just not all the time” and so I tried The only problem with trying not to need you Is that in the end … I won’t need you So, I slipped out of your arms And waited for you to let go too Instead you held on You don’t have to say why… There’s just…no need

You took your time turning my Xs into ohs With flickering tongue and inquisitive fingers X marks the spot and you can find them all in the dark Unrelenting till I gasped your ohs Blindfolded and covered in Xs   You kept me coming till I couldn’t get enough of the Os I tried to keep up with the excess but no I got tangled in your exes and ohs Your emails used to end with xxxs and ooos And then nothing …but ….cold spaces Oh how I miss the ohs…are we exes too now? Unbidden you wrote back with an infinity of Xs and Os But you waited too long between ohs Took too long to lose sight of the exes So I’ve decid

You throw stars at me when you get scared – a frightened ninja cloaked in shades of night. But I won’t stick around to be stuck like your favourite pin cushion. I know you thought I was made of stone -- nothing more than a beautiful statue…until I moved. It was a gloriously bright day. You held my hand gently in yours and pricked my palm. I will never forget that look of surprise when I flinched. Underneath this hard shell are living cells and they are tired of being popped like plump grapes. But I know something you don’t… I have a secret weapon. Sometimes the light glances off the stars stuck in my side and in a f

I used to watch you soar high above the darkness So you always stayed bathed in moonbeams Sick of the dark I reached up and you flew me away You never knew that you saved a life that night And I never suspected I would love you for it But I am a beast and your soul is all I crave I screamed and lashed out Because love is a foreign language I have never heard When you sighed and sang your sweet song My parched mouth devoured every drop You seemed a bottomless well And I didn’t care if I sucked you dry I ripped at your wings just to see if you will let me have them Not so I can soar without you But so you can never fly aw

Humble offering Someday I will give you sunshine in a box Someday I will give you the stars and moon But today you will have to be content with my heart Tarnished and tawdry, it is yours to do with as you wish Its light has left me and shines only for you now Snuff it out or bury it in the yard next to your pet hamster Just don’t throw it in the fire… With the countless others Unwrap my love, untie my trust Toss them on a pile of nail clippings or slip them into your sock drawer Just don’t throw them in the shredder … With all the others Don’t despair for me I am happy to roam this heartless dark An e

Or not I never cry after sex So, I lied… I was embarrassed And you held me heroically Why with you and never before? I love him… I want to believe I reside in your heart permanently But the constant mental traffic Of pretty distractions Makes me think it is but temporary He loves me not… You stood guard Over my topless beached body “She’s mine. So back off” Your watchful stare proclaimed I felt beautiful and precious He loves me… You would like to stay But something calls you away I’ve heard this song before So many times It breaks my resolve I love him not… You say me

Something whispered… Secrets shimmer behind her camouflage, straining to be voiced She sighs and resigns to a whisper Barely audible, the words swell Pulsing inside my skull, poised to crash Deafening, the sonic boom erases all comprehension Silence casts its sticky web Trapping us in time and space Stillness on the surface as I go under Drowning in an echo of whispers Grasping at picket fences and apple pies I feel her slow gaze closing in Crushed by the weight of her trust Given but never sought, I wasn’t ready… No escape now, my mind recoils Silently snarling “you had no right!” Her knowing smile w